Light Speed Hoax Movement Gains Support

A curious side-effect of living with faster-than-light travel and communications daily and taking such things as hyper-drive for granted leads many people to just not think about the science underpinning them, but others is seems it leads in a different direction entirely.

“It’s all a sham! For a thousand years or more we’ve known that light speed is a hoax, just that nobody is prepared to put their name of the papers for fear of their lives – Cletus Jamanka-Forbrite, Gacrux”

Cletus Forbrite speaks to us in his capacity as PR chief of the “Light Movement” a group of like-minded people from across the core who hold a shared belief:

“There is no such thing as the speed of light, it takes zero time to feel the light from a source no matter how far away you are.”

This extraordinary claim has many high profile followers, dream sequence stars, popular musicians and even political figures. I put it to Cletus why he and his group think that light travels instantly, and what evidence do they have.

“It’s not as simple as getting evidence, you can get evidence to prove or disprove anything these days, many scientists can’t be trusted, they are either controlled by their pay-rolls or are just nuts on a power trip, not our scientists though. But we do have proof, proof is better than evidence any day.”

Cletus brings me out to the porch of his wind-swept house. The sun overhead is wonderful, the climate is excellent for growing the crops that provide the bulk of the movement’s funding.

“Look up there, our sun, Gacrux, one called Gamma Crucis. We can feel it’s warmth right now and see it’s light. But you put your hand up. You can feel the sun warm it up. If light wasn’t instant how would you feel the warm right away now?”

Cletus cuts an impressive figure in his agri-gear. Clearly a proficient businessman his multi-sector farming business apparently turns over 3 million credits a day. I ask what his aims are for the group, other than getting the message out.

“I’m glad you asked, well, we’ve been saving money for a long time, we have a lot of investors and subscribers. We have a project that we are trying to fund. Real proof that everyone can see, not just evidence that people can dismiss if they don’t like us. Last year a well known dream star gave us our kick-start funding, 50 million credits, and we knew we were ready to start proving that light doesn’t have any speed, and this year, a very well know fed political figure gave us 300 million right off the bat!”

I press Cletus for names, but he easily waves the question away.

“These folks have too much to lose, ours is a view that it ain’t popular to have.”

I ask Cletus what his grand plan is, and how much more money they will need?

“Well, as it happens we decided that we would exclusively reveal our aim to you here today. We are going to give anyone who has eyes proof that light travels instantly, proof that no fancy scientist can cover up or dispute, somthin that will stand alone forever!”

Feeling a little uneasy, “What are you going to do?” I ask.

“You know how you put your hand up? felt the warm instantly? We are going to prove it once an for all, we are going to turn off the light right where everyone is looking, they will see it disappear at the exact same time no-matter how far away they are, no matter where!”

I’m confused, and a little alarmed by his smile, by the glint in his eye, but I still need to know more so I press further: “What light are you going to use?”. Cletus smiles and relaxes onto one of the plastic veranda chairs.

“That’s easy, one that is huge, that everyone will see and can see already! We are going to switch off Gacrux. We are going to extinguish Gamma Crucis.”

Laura Posett, Conway Herald.

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